Radical

Life at the beach in the early 70’s.

No surf trip was complete without a set of roof racks. Sometimes when we had no money we would go down the pub at night and steal a set from out of the car park. Crazy our mate had a trick he liked to pull mainly to impress the girls. While driving around  he would suddenly scream out “I need some air”. The mad bastard would then pull himself outside of the speeding car via the side back window, crawl across the roof racks to the other side and re-enter the vehicle through the opposite open car window. This proved to be a near fatal stunt one night. While pulling his Houdini act across the roof as usual the driver named Spot had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting something. Crazy grabbed hold of the roof racks, which suddenly came unloose due to the braking force and his extra weight. He was jolted forward and went airborne onto the bonnet. Crazy bounced off and hit the road as the car came to screeching stop only inches away. That was the last time he ever pulled the amazing window stunt.

The Eastershow……. As Woody and Magoo watched Zoot play through their set of songs at the back of the crowd they secretly swallowed the tiny tabs they had been saving called Microdots. The Acid they had just devoured was the real deal, full mind blowing hallucinating LSD straight out of the USA. After slipping away from the others within 20 minutes their world began falling apart. The crowd began to blur, everything started to warp and faces contorted. Objects began to melt while the music beats became hypnotic. Every noise made their brain twitch and their spine shiver as the LSD took over every sense. The flashing lights and rock and roll music was blaring out from the carousel rides full of brightly painted ponies and clown faces. The noise was deafening so they looked for a quick escape.

The City at Night…….The streets of the inner city were awash with short haired hoods at night and almost anywhere you went trouble was never too far away.It was at Museum Station when all of a sudden the train carriage door swung wide open.  A Sharpie who was around 5ft nothing full of attitude entered. He began putting on the tough guy act showing off his street brawlers strut. The agro short hair began flashing a few dodgy tattoos down his arms, pointing to one with cartoon character Andy Capp* and “Redfern Sharps Forever” clearly marked underneath for everyone to see. Angry Ant had his shirt tucked in, braces and his pants pulled up ridiculously high so that the seam of his Levis had to be strangling his gonads. He purposely left the carriage door wide open allowing the cold night air and wind to come gusting in as the train began to move. Sitting closest to it was Mad Mal with his long blond hair in a pigtail and bulging tanned muscles. He angrily kicked the metal door shut behind the spiky headed intruder. ”You born in a fucken tent, mate ” Mal screamed.

“Who wants a go surf scum,” the Sharpie yelled.  Mad Mal stood up and was almost as tall as him even though this mini Sharp was now standing on the seat. “Ill fight ya mate,” he roared and before he even finished the sentence he jobbed him square in the mouth with his sledgehammer fist.

The pair wrestled as more punches were thrown and most where right on target. Big Mal went about re-arranging the little Trogs face . His Sharpie mates watching from the joining carriage saw what was happening and came running to his aid. Lucky for him, as Mad Mal was going to swat this guy like a fly. The rest of group jumped up and met them in a kind of Mexican standoff each waiting for the other side to make the first move.

Realizing they were out numbered the Sharpies retreated to where they had come from leaving their mate to his fate and slamming the door behind them. Around a minute went by before the largest of the Sharpies, a fat greasy Wog returned.  He kicked open the thick metal door and stood there armed with a thick leather strap wrapped around his hand that had 4inch nails protruding outwards from it. “Back off Soaps“ he screamed.

The distraction caused Mal to release his grip on the Sharpie who made  a quick retreat back into the carriage that he came from slamming the door and cursing wildly as they went. A few stations later the gang exited the train at St Peters and started throwing rubbish bins and mouthing off through the window as the train pulled out. “We’ll get you next time Salties” and “Fucking Longhairs.” Magoo and Egg laughed so hard all the way home. “Salties” they’d never been called that before.